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Barbara Allen (Underwood) Shaw, 48, of Houston Texas, died June 8, 2010.
Most people let life happen to them. Live life consciously. Choose rather than simply accepting.
Four years have come and gone since Barbara left this life, and moved on to whatever comes next. Many times I have considered trying to write about our life together, but it always seemed too painful. I will try again, today.
Life with Barbara was, in many ways, wonderful beyond comprehension. She loved me just as I was. She encouraged, and assisted, me to allow my true self to shine. I remember clearly the first time she said to me: “You are happier as a woman. I want you to be happy.” We had been together about a year at that point, but had been friends for about three years before we became a couple. She knew about my dysphoria before we started dating. She was my closest friend then, and that continued until the day she passed.
I know some of you are already rolling your eyes at the sugary sweet memory I am about to share, and some of you have no idea what is coming. Continue reading
Responsible people work on weekdays. And responsible people take their children to school on weekdays. Except that occasionally, they don’t. Barbara used to occasionally do what she called “Mental Health Days”, where she would simply take her kids out of school for no reason other than that they were stressing and needed a break. They would spend an afternoon, or sometimes the day, just doing something completely unrelated to what they were stressing over.
I highly recommend the practice.
Her father was Cherokee. He told her this story, and this is how she told it, verbatim, to a mutual friend. Continue reading
In her own words, in response to one of those meme emails.
I am your stereotypical Pagan female – short, red-headed, goddess-figured. I am the mother of three adult children, stepmother of two, and Mamashine to a slew of others. I do seem to have the fertility aspect of my religion down pat – I regrew an ovary after a full hysterectomy 🙂 I have cats, dogs and teens (and if you are younger than me, you are a teen – kind of like “I’m cold – so you go put on a sweater” logic that Moms are famous for.) I am a Sagittarius with Capricorn rising and Aquarius moon, and yes, it is quite painful, thank you. I like to believe I am fairly open minded, except when it comes to intolerance. I have an insatiable love of learning as my book collection can attest. (My partner says book collection is an understatement – he mumbled something about mountains?) I am a liberal who believes in personal freedoms, and the free exchange of ideas and information. I am very loyal, and have more than a bit of white knight syndrome (sometimes a redhead’s temper is a GOOD thing.) I have had a very rough life, but am truly happy now.